


War of Queens - Valiun I

by LordBGH



Category: BigGirlsHere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:22:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28992111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordBGH/pseuds/LordBGH
Kudos: 1





	War of Queens - Valiun I

The night skies over Storms’ Deep _howled_ as _endless_ rains failed to cease or slow. For as far back as books went that chain of islands had been buried in a dense, portentous fog. Some said it was the final breath of a dragon slain by _Bloody King Borlog_ in _the Age of Four Lights_ , the great worm’s death rattle rolling across the archipelago to blind it in spite. Some said it was the vengeful ghosts of every pirate skinned and swinging from the gibbets.

It wasn’t though. It was _fog_.

_Lord Valiun Storm_ stood atop the highest keep of _Caer Glaw_ , his familial fortress. Its stone walls thick and high as cliff faces. Below, convoys of oxen left the castle’s bailey having delivered the weekly tithes. Much of it was food, game and crop and the like, but there was a fair share of coin and personal tributes. Were the perennial fog not obscuring his view Valiun may have been able to see Storms’ Deep for miles. He did not care about what was below, though, nor the view around him. Valiun thrust his sword skyward into the clashing, crashing _din,_ defying all lightning to reach across the dark and snatch away his life _._ He pointed it towards _the star_ , the solitary lamp alone without constellation. Surrounding the distant twinkling were _the Three Sisters_ , one dimly crescent, one vividly full and one new. With one hand steadying himself upon the parapet the young Prince reached up into the thunderstorm, veins of white lightning _crackled_ and _exploded_ through the sky but none reached down to him.

‘ _Hurry, take it!’_ he urged in his head. He’d been stood in the rain trying to get struck by lightning for 20 minutes now. He was soaked and his smooth face pelted with hail.

Behind him _Pondo Boggle_ appeared, stepping out onto the keep. One-yard tall as all Hoblins, the climb to the top of tower was a heroic effort for him. In nothing but a dark blue tunic he allowed himself to become comfortably sodden through, happiest when he was wet. It reminded him of his boggy home with his Hoblin family, dining on kelp-cakes and steamed tea and mud-scrubblers. He did not mind being wet at all but Pondo could always find something to be nervous about and right now it was the bad news he had to deliver. There was talk of adventure, a suggestion that always made his stomach drop and his skin prickle like a winter stream.

_“You have been summoned, Your Glorious Grace, oh Wonderful Lord.”_

Valiun stepped down. _“Are you mocking me, Hoblin?”_

_“Yes, Your Unquestioned Princey-Wincey-ness”_ Pondo complained, _“whatever you’ve been summoned for it’s going to get me killed, this might be my last chance for mockery.”_

_‘What could it be?’_ Valiun questioned, fearful, ‘ _Perhaps Mother has found me a wife, or a place in the Knightsguard’_ Truth be told Valiun was nervous for whatever news Pondo had, he had not found a wife he liked yet and was worried the Queen would pair him off with a dull cousin or even one of the insufferable Westertyde Ladies. Nonetheless he hid his fears from his friend, Pondo.

_“We have been summoned, oh Lordy-Lordness”_ Pondo smirked, _“by none other than Her Grace the Princess Cescily.”_

Valiun stepped inside, returning his sword to its sheath. 

‘ _Perhaps another time_ ,’ Valiun lamented. Changing from his wet robes and into nothing but a warm set of jodhpurs, Valiun and his ward hurried through the twisting halls of the ancient fort. Outside, the immortal storm _roared_ like a stomach, beating endlessly against the brave walls. Torches _crackled_ in sconces along the way. The air was heavy with many food and drink smells from the great kitchens, bake-houses and breweries and more than once Pondo found himself diverted. Warm bread _wafted_ through the castle and beer temptingly _teased_ every nostril.

Valiun stepped into his beloved sister’s solar. _Princess Cescily Storm_ was lay abed as ever, gorging the same endless way pigs do. Weighing over 112qtrs ( _2800 in pounds)_ she was as wide as a pregnant river troll, her hips easily bursting the banks of her royal 4-poster bed. Her stomach was long and smooth like a surface of cream and did distend over the end of her mattress, happily filled with _meats_ and _treats_ and _sweets_. Cescily was pale of pink, her skin soft velvet. The Princess’s rich hair was a shock of vivid titian as were all Storm women’s. It hung in gentle _rolling red curls_ across her wide shoulders, plastered in places to her round face with slops of gravy and lashings of plum preserves. Her hair fell proudly wild like a mountain girl, spreading outwards almost to her hips. Her eyes were as wide and bright as moons, as _grey_ as steel and _wet_ as ponds. Her lips were the same sanguinary colour of strawberries, slopping up and down hypnotically as servant girls fed Cescily’s fat face with great cuts of greasy game. Legs of deer and sides of beaver found her gnashing, _gnarling_ teeth and were pulped into sodden shreds and greedily gulped between large goblets of cherry liquor. Though she was one of the richest Humans in the Spoken World, Cescily’s hunger was not limited to the rare fleshes and rich fruits royalty afforded. She also took great delight in appropriating the staples of peasant diets. She enjoyed _pottage_ with her peacock, _barley bread_ with her bittern, _curds and whey_ with cheese and wine. Quite often her greed for these commoner foods deprived the smallfolk of eating. She did not care.

Though vast, Cescily wore an _exquisite_ velvet burgundy dress, tailored painstakingly to her royal enormousness. It hung from the extremes of her fat shoulders and plunged to reveal her great cleavage, gold damask and diamonds woven into every hemline. It did not fit all around her, instead it fits her front like a chef’s apron to give the impression of being worn and could be removed with the greatest ease should she get too hot or her garment too filthy in feasting. Atop her soft orange hair she wore a snowflake patterned silver circlet, encrusted with a holy garnet plundered from the peaceful Sooli people as a gift from her royal and loyal father.

Around the room, tapestries spun with Ivæli gold hung the walls portraying Cescily in her gorgeous, engorged glory. A thousand tiny candles lit her royal form, emanating a sweet smell to cover the choking of her _deathly_ flatulence. Their dancing, flickering flames cast precarious lights upon the drapes of crimson silk, portraying the House Storm sigil of a silver leopard on its hind legs.

Valiun watched his sister feast, admiring her form as much as her appetite. His cock grew stiff against his jods, a sticky, welcome wetness leaking there.

 _‘She is beautiful_ ,’ Valiun quietly observed his sister’s perfection, ‘ _almost as fat as Mother when she was first crowned, and only 16 of years.’_

Valiun and his sister had enjoyed dalliances before, it was inevitable among royalty in Storms’ Deep. The Queendom was wet and dark and the nearest noble House was several islands away. Although Valiun did not mind doing down with peasant girls Cescily was to be Queen one day and would not debase herself so. 

_“Brother!”_ Cescily squealed with lascivious delight, sucking back a bucket of goose-beak jelly. Valiun knelt. Though he could be King one day it still fell upon him to _always_ show his little sister due obeisance, and as the Regent Lord he took up any order of rule she or their mother deemed fit to lay upon him.

_“Yes, Your Highness.”_

_“I order you to pleasure me.”_

Cescily had many a pleasure boy in waiting but her brother had been her favourite since she’d reached puberty. He knew he was looking particularly attractive to her tonight in just his jodhpurs, sword upon his back. It was not entirely accidental.

He picked his favourite of her male servants, a tall and handsome dark haired 14 year old. He started to undress the boy for Cescily’s pleasure, kissing his chiselled pectorals, sucking his pert nipples, his lips working down the boy’s chest towards his cock. Hungrily, Valiun pulled free the servant’s stiff, sticky cock. The boy was well endowed, Cescily’s Chaplain made sure all her servants were _qualified_. Valiun took the boyhood into his mouth and sucked loudly. He knew his sister found nothing more titillating than guy on guy action, especially rape. The boy pretended to struggle, quite convincingly Valiun thought, to please his Mistress. Valiun pinned the boy down against her vastness and started fucking the 14 year old in the mouth, bringing himself dangerously close to cumming.

_“Brother, it is my turn!”_ Cescily announced.

A group of male servants peeled off her velvet gown, revealing the pale, pasty, plane beneath. Then 6 strapping young Gentlemen-of-the-Bedchamber lifted Cescily’s royal gut, releasing from beneath the _stench_ of her _royal purse_ , moist and excited, and the _choke_ of her constantly shitting anus. Pondo’s little lungs could not handle the foul air and a guard escorted him out. Valiun did not mind the smell, Mother’s was far fouler, he dove between those fleshy thighs, peeling their _squelching_ sweatiness apart. His tongue _lashed_ at her soft honeypot in its nest of curly _golden-red_ pubis. His licks _whipped_ her with pleasure. Prodigiously he jabbed and stroked and tickled inside her fat pussy, drawing forth more froth as she _squirted_ and _squirmed_. He nibbled at her sex, making sure to stroke her vast cask thighs and stimulate her lips. Equally he grabbed any chunk of her fat arse he could reach, massaging and squeezing until from within Cescily burst a _flood_ of sexual bliss. Her temperature rose like a temper and Cescily was done. Red of passion, breathless and depleted. Shocks of joy ran through her like electricity. Like a _storm_. For a few minutes she quite forgot herself, only coming around after application of ice milk.

_“Mmmmm, brother, that was divine.”_

Valiun climbed astride her vastness and she allowed him to kiss her. Passionately he ran his tongue through the many lines and creases of her blubbery neck, suckling and biting. Pleasurable as it was, Cescily was _far too_ exhausted from their dance to continue and starvation washed over her once more. _Moaning_ , she called forward the Royal Chamberlain.

_“Eldross…”_

She returned to her thoughtless feasting, not to hear another word of the conversation.

Eldross stepped forward. Valiun could not decide what he thought of Eldross. He could not tell whether he was old or young, ugly or beautiful. His skin was a _sickly white_ like snow under moonfall, his eyes an _albino red_ that engendered mistrust among the more superstitious serfs. His smile was cunning, his jawline strong, his hair long and sleek and betraying no grey. He moved stiffly and deliberately, not an action or word wasted.

_“My Lord Valiun, our situation has grown dire. Word reaches us that Prince Oro of Helfjord has begun courting the Slogg heir, Princess Elepha of House Globb, newly debuted. It has long been the wish of House Storm that Prince Oro would wed Her Grace Princess Cescily.”_

This was indeed unfortunate. Since _the Age of Many Lights_ Humans had been treated as second class citizens, highly taxed and underrepresented. A marriage between House Storm and the supreme Ivæli of Helfjord would bring Valiun’s family political sway, protection, economy. If his family continued to marry into Elven houses down the generations it could make House Storm one of the Major Queendoms. Now it seemed those hopes were lost.

_“Her Grace has decreed and your mother concurs, you will travel north to the Gorga Swamps and assassinate Princess Elepha of House Globb. Prince Oro showed a great keenness for you royal sister last Winterbinge and if Elepha is removed he will likely propose to Princess Cescily, assuring our union with the High Elves.”_

_‘Hah! High Elves?’_ Valiun thought, he could not stand the phrase. ‘ _It is but_ _Ivæli propaganda,_ _a name they give themselves to imply superiority!’_

Pondo returned to the room having _literally_ run out of vomit. Valiun looked to his ward who was not happy to hear these instruction.

_“You are to leave tonight. Your Mother wishes for you to visit her before you depart. After I will furnish you with everything you’ll need.”_

After thanking his sister for her divine commands and kissing her goodbye, Valiun left Cescily’s chambers for the throne room. The vast walls were decorated with portraits of former queens. There was his great grandmother _Queen Pfeiffer the Brutal_ , who massacred every jungle tribe of the southern chain so she could steal the coca beans that once grew there. There was _vain Queen Pyara IX_ who had the Mountains of Leng carved into statues of herself. Valiun remembered the first time he pleasured himself as a boy, he’d been reading a book on Queen Pyara that featured an old Ivæli daguerreotype of her with several of her slave lovers. She had been by far the most beautiful Queen in his history lessons and he stole the picture for later use. He still had it in his chambers. 

Within the throne room, however, there was only _one_ Queen.

_Her Majesty Queen Kalysta_ lay in the very centre. She was _338qtrs_ _(8451 pounds)_ her stomach like a lake of wobbling pink, stretching out beyond her throne bed to bury her legs and a great deal of floor. Her especially enormous breasts were concealed in an otter fur corset especially bushy around every hem. Her size meant it must have taken hundreds of critters to create. She donned the golden crown of her monarchy, the frame forged of volcanic silver and encrusted with sky diamonds, ermine cap fitting _perfectly_. Her red hair was thick and as long as a Western night. Some parts were braided into thick ropes, emanating from her like tentacles while the rest flowed about her like gentle waves of deep blood, spreading across the pillows to resemble spilled wine lakes. In contrast to this her eyes were a _fierce_ pale blue, her lips pouty. Queen Kalysta drooled whole rivers of masticated filth across herself as she messily chewed everything servants brought near.

The Queen’s throne bed was surrounded by mounds of treasure, gold and precious stones almost as high as her stomach, her vastness helpless among it all like a great greedy dragon. Most importantly, splendiferous mounds of food lined banquet tables along every wall, with more constantly being brought in from the adjoining kitchens, _all_ for her and _no one_ else. Guards took point at each entrance. Courtesans stood about the room, socialising as minstrels played gentle songs to the Queen’s beauty while mummers on stage _fucked_ for her pleasure. Whole gardens of flowers were constantly being brought to her, replaced before they could wilt with pedantic perfection. Seven vent-places kept the room cool, the tropical climate of Storms’ Deep a sweaty place for such a large monarch. Courtiers are naked but for metal belts around their privates, meant to symbolise their cocks belonging to Mummy. Her female harem lay about in beautiful silks and jeweled gifts from their Queen, ready to pleasure her or her courtiers whenever ordered. 

_“Your Highness,”_ Eldross interrupted, _“your son is about to leave for his quest.”_

It took several dozen incredibly strong slaves to turn the levers that raised her throne bed. The angle was just enough Queen Kalysta could survey her son, but not enough to impede her ever important feasting.

_“Beloved mother,”_ Valiun started, _“our darling Cescily has charged me with what I fear will be a deadly task. Though I do it gladly for her, I came to see you one last time.”_

With a long _deliberate_ lick across her lips, Queen Kalysta looked down at her son. He was 20 years of age and reminded her of his father. Often she would take the boy to her bed, since long before he was ever a man, and _never_ had he failed to satisfy her.

_“Well then, boy”_ she purred, breathily, _“you best give your mother a PROPER goodbye.”_

Already her servants had begun turning her over, a task made easier by Kalysta’s slave ogres. As effortlessly as if she were a young girl, _Her Majesty_ turned seductively on her side. With a great wet _splodge_ and the sound of 1000 cauldrons spilling their wares her gut repositioned itself, slouching forward over the edge of her mattress, displacing great mounds of golden coins that spilled carelessly across the room.

The _only_ way Valiun was able to fuck his mother was from behind. He approached her enormous arse, resembling a felled mammoth on her side. Her backside was bare and with a blast like a _roaring_ sea squid she _farted_ monstrously into his once clean face. Mummy started to shit, taxes and tithes now brown liquid oozing indolently across her floor. Valiun worked his throbbing cock from its flooded breeches. Once free it straightened ever stiffer for Mummy. One of her vast legs was held up by more slaves, the flab of her thunderous thighs draping like a tapestry. Valiun could not help but fondle and caress her great swinging curtains of thigh blubber, slipping his boyhood into a fold of knee-flab and enjoying her otherwise useless limb. Her pussy was exposed, the stench of her lust filling the room and watering the eyes of her court. It’s lips smacked like some hungry sea-creature, drooling sexual slime and thick strands of vaginal saliva. _Bursts_ of salacious gas _queefed_ from Mummy’s pussy. It _smacked_ and _slurped_ until he entered his cock and was _yanked_ sharply inside her. Mummy’s sexual muscles massaged and danced around her son’s hard prick, coating it with maternal mucus and frothing fetidly. He was dragged back and forth, in and out by the cock until Mummy came satisfied, so highly sexed she was _constantly_ on the verge of orgasm. Valiun was sprayed with satisfied squirts of liquid love and only just managed to dodge a violent blast of orgasmic diarrhea. The heat coming from the Queen’s enormous body caused Valiun to sweat, her vastness blushing as if in fever. Her skin undulated, pleasure _tingling_ through her and for 40 more minutes Valiun finished Mummy off with his diligent tongue, lashing her into a blissful sleep.

He watched her fat face, her tiny little eyes closed and dreaming happily. Even if he did survive his unlikely journey it would be months before he saw her again. A Lord however must not show sadness, and Valiun buried the thought deep inside himself. 

~~~

Five minutes later Valiun and Pondo met with Eldross in his chambers. On his desk lay a number of provisions. Eldross looked down his crooked nose at the young Lord Valiun.

_“You remember our lessons, don’t you? You were taught as a boy how to kill any rival species should the necessity arise, even a Slogg.”_

_“I remember,”_ Valiun assured.

_“Be alert, Sloggs are EXTREMELY competent and obviously guard their Princesses ferociously. If you are caught they WILL execute you. Clearly we cannot afford to go to war with the Slogg houses so in case you’re captured I’m giving you this.”_

He handed the Lord a glass vial. Pondo inspected it with great curiosity. There was some kind of fat grey grub wriggling inside, its end _glowing_ like a firefly with bright blue brilliance.

_“It’s called a dim-worm,”_ Valiun explained, meaning to show Eldross he was ready, “ _If you swallow this it burrows into your brain and sends you mad. If we’re caught we each take one and our insurrection is blamed on Dim-head Fever. These grubs are rare but do breed around Slogg cities and have infected royal delegates before so it’s a plausible excuse.”_

_“Fuck that!”_ Pondo protested, _“I’m not going mad for anyone. I’m only here because of some stupid trade deal between our families--”_

_“Actually, Sloggs don’t consider Hoblins intelligent”_ Eldross explained, _“They would see your ward as a pet and simply eat him, which is just as well as we could only find one dim-worm.”_

_“Eat me??!?”_

He was ignored as Eldross continued the explanation. Pondo sulked.

_“We’ve also managed to procure you a Stygian eye, some of the only Mara in Storms’ Deep.”_

Valiun admired the small glass globe, no bigger than a kiwi bird. They were all forged for mining work a long time ago and glowed only in the darkest caves only when you were at your most lost. Though Humans could not summon Mara, they could still use Mara-infused objects bound by other races. Besides the Stygian eye Eldross gave Valiun a jar of green, luminescent goo, a small satchel of refined sea salt and--

_“I see you have already taken Ictus,”_ the Chamberlain scolded, _“no matter. Your royal father wished for you to have it.”_

Ictus was the blade strung across Valiun’s back. Forged of Urk steel, it once belonged to his father the _King Boreal_ for who the Queen was still officially in mourning. Valiun admired his father greatly and when he learned he had been murdered on a hunting trip by a foreign soldier he felt the anger that epitomised his family. He had wanted war but nothing could be done. The soldier belonged to a race the Humans could not dream of defeating in battle and the Imperial Ivæli would do nothing in case it upset their own diplomacy. The murder of King Boreal was a forgotten deal, his killer serving a mere life sentence instead of true justice as Valiun saw it.

_“Clearly the blade has not yet been struck,_ ” Eldross observed, running his slender fingers along the metal. It too was infused with Mara, legendary for its capacity to take on thunderous power for its wielder.

_“I’ve been trying, but the lightning misses me every time”_ Valiun protested. With the most subtle action Eldross twisted the pommel which unscrewed the grip, extending it. Like a clockwork toy Ictus started to readjust, its quillions dropping from their decorative _V_ shape into proper cross-guards. The blade itself rotated, settling into a new groove of the handle that actually shortened the sword, making it perfect for Valiun’s reach.

_“It was not yours yet, but a sword knows a quest and it knows the heart of its holder. Be brave and Ictus will make you braver. Now, take it back to your tower and enlighten it then leave for the continent immediately. If you survive the trip the Queen expects you by her side for Winterbinge.”_

As Eldross handed Ictus to him, Valiun Storm made a silent vow that one day he would pass this blade through the throat of his father’s killer.

_“Most importantly, do not forget your gift for the Slogg Queen!”_ Eldross explained sternly. Pondo’s eyes narrowed and Valiun knew he’s trying to determine which gift was meant to be a suitable offering for a Slogg Queen. Without answering, they left.

_“Pet??”_ Pondo whispered dramatically to Lord Valiun.

_“I know,”_ Valiun smirked, _“I am Prince of the Human world and suspect even I cannot afford feeding you.”_

~~~ 

For 10 minutes Valiun stood in the lashing rain atop the highest tower, holding precariously to the parapet as thunder _crackled_ and _smashed_ above them. Valiun remembered what he was told about enlightening Ictus, _Be brave and Ictus will make you braver_. It gave him an idea. Despite the wind at his back Valiun _lets go_ of the battlements and climbed across the crenellation to a 20-foot flag pole attached to the outer-wall of the tower. He started to climb upwards to the sail-sized flag thrashing maniacally in the winds above. Pondo _gasped_ , constantly shocked by the foolhardiness of men. Reaching the top, Valiun lunged Ictus upwards into the night. 

Pondo _croaked_ his considerable concerns over the din, hoping to talk the reckless Prince down.

_“How are we to invade a royal house, THAT royal house, and murder their Princess?_ _Ivæli_ _could not do it, we are but a Human Prince and his Hoblin ward. Tell me how you plan to do that!”_

There was a _CRASH_ of brilliant light. Valiun was _thrown_ from the flagpole to the keep 20-feet below, lucky to hit the tower instead of plummeting to his death. He was a mess of sparks and smoke. In his hand, Ictus _crackled_ and _hummed_ with power, the enchanted metal holding sparkling, dancing lightning. Valiun answered;

_“Like a Storm.”_

~~~

Valiun and Pondo took passage on a royal spice galleon accompanied by 4 knights and a navigator, plus the ship’s crew. The trip across the Flooding Strait to the ocean was unpleasant but without incident. Once on the sea they followed the sailor tradition of hugging the atoll’s various coastlines. There were at least 2000 uncharted islands between Storms’ Deep and the Slogg continent and the spice crew was keen to steer clear of each. Over the days it became hotter and less rainy, though still torrential. The warmth was almost calming, if not cloying. The air became heavy to breathe. At night the ship’s Cook would scare Pondo with stories of the untouched islands. One they passed where the air it’s said turned men’s skin to stone and water only served to petrify you faster. There was another where swarms of _razor-wasps_ apparently descended on the fattest of your crew and stripped them to the whites in a matter of _screaming_ seconds. Valiun told him they were all exaggerations but Pondo felt the sentiment was undermined when his Lordship paid _particular_ attention to the stories of mermaid islands, where manatee sized women lured you to their rocky coasts with their songs. They shipwrecked virile, _young_ men, laying their eggs in them. Apparently once every 100 years they chose _one brave king_ to stay among them, worshipped beneath the waves. Sick to his stomach, Pondo was keen to stay below deck. Hoblins usually prefered languishing in their embanked burrows, causing no trouble and disturbing no peace. Their interest in hierarchy was minimal without even a royal family, living comfortably under the assumed rule of House Storm. It was bad enough he had to leave his burrow, but this was almost _certainly_ an adventure! In Hoblin society excitement was unseemly. Many were the legends of great Hoblin heroes who bravely denied the call to action, who never saved a day and left their damsels in distress. Pondo was no different. He would not like to meet any _Whale-Sirens_ today, thank you!

~~~

The northernmost island of the Human chain was _Wormfall_ , seat of _House Draig_ , Marcher Lords of the Trench. They were bannermen to Valiun’s family and Chamberlain Eldross arranged for him to take guests’ rights there for the night. It would allow his crew to ready the ship for the voyage ahead. They faced 20 days of open ocean between Wormfall and Yigg, the Slogg continent. No sailor worth his sea salt would fail to stop at Wormfall, _especially_ as it was home to so many pillow-houses. The galleon pulled into port as Valiun and Pondo observed the great bones jutting from the surface of the water.

_“Dragon bones, Pondo. They say the draconian extinction started and ended with House Draig, thus their sigil is a dragon strewn in blood. Their house words are ‘Steel Melts Fire’ and they like to call themselves the Wyrm Lords.”_

Pondo _gulped_ , he knew dragons were long gone but the size of their skeletons still filled him with dread. Many legends tried to account for _the Death of Fire_ , how every dragon became suddenly petrified, falling from the sky and leaving only skeletal statues to remember them. Pondo feared they were only playing still, pretending to be stone until the vital day they would awaken to devour him and every other Hoblin there was. He voiced his anxieties to his Lord, who explained they’re very much stone. _House Madfall_ had even built their ancestral seat from the granite bones of _Blackbreath._

_‘Poor Hoblin,’_ Valiun pitied Pondo, ‘ _no sense of the Sow Mother or civilization.’_

 _“Avast, my Prince!”_ cried a voice as they descended the gang plank. Waving to them was Lord Dunnacan, the Draig heir. He’d been sent to meet them, dressed in his finest surcoat, the Draig House colours deliberately designed to elicit the Storms’. The sycophancy made Valiun’s stomach cringe. A meager sword hung limply at his side. After disembarking Valiun greeted him in the lordly way. He had not been to Wormfall since he was 13 and remembered very little of the eager Lord Dunnacan. He remembered well his sister the Lady Pellope, 2 years his senior and by now married off to some _Rhyfel_ heir.

_“Come, cousin, Mother is positively drooling to see you!”_

Lord Dunnacan was not lying. When Valiun met his blood-aunt her excitement was almost as large as she was. _Lady Lollice Draig_ , known locally as _the Drunken Queen_ for her behaviour. She was destructive and cruel to her subjects, heartless to refugees from the Ivaeli Queendom and always deporting them home. Ironically that made her a favourite with the Helfjord army, a difficult feat for a human Lady. According to Maesters she had the mind of a child, putting it at 6 years old, but she was 35 of years and _364qtrs (9100 in pounds)_. A young maiden held her smoking filter loaded with a long roll of purple hempweed. The smoke was dizzying and Auntie would inhale it endlessly, enjoying the soothing effect it took on her mind and body. As soon as she saw the young Prince her enfeebled flab-flooded forearms reached failing towards him. A slobber as thick as barnacle glue ran swiftly from her lips as a 2 year old slave in a metal bikini fed her Lady from a platter of pies. Auntie’s sparkling _baby_ blue eyes twinkled at him as she bit off the girl’s hand.

_“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!! YAAAAYY! Baby nephoo! Come give sexy Auntie your special love. Handsome Pwince. Mmmmmm yeah me want! Me want!”_

Valiun was only too eager to oblige. He missed his Mother dearly and although Auntie Lollice was known to have an imbalance of humours he also knew in her more lucid days she was still an incestuous, sadistic nymphomaniac. His cock slipped into her wet mouth, her teeth playfully grazing along the sensitive skin, threatening emancipation. Her tongue was like a snake as it wrapped around his throbbing, contracting and controlling to _squeeze_ his shaft and excite his balls. It had been a long voyage and Valiun _exploded_ inside Auntie’s mouth. She did not mind, his mad Lady happily _guzzled_ back his young cum to swim merrily in her tummy.

_“Ooooh special good boy! My babies is so scaredy-cats! Always think Mummy is going to bite their OTHER ball off! Silly rabbits! Come give sexy Auntie snuggles!”_

Although Valiun had meant to show Pondo the other side of the island where a stone sea-wyrm looped in and out of the water so you could run across its back, he didn’t. Instead, he spent the whole afternoon with his Auntie Lollice. Together they smokes her hempweed and made love. He was sure they’d quickened together but it would not matter, apparently her Ladyship had taken to now _devouring_ any mewling infant that fell out of her. That was 3 a week now. She fell asleep. 

Lord Dunnacan was happy to finally have Valiun for himself. _“My Lord, we have prepared a most pleasant evening for you.”_

Servants led them to the courtroom and now Pondo was drooling. There was a glorious buffet spread out in front of them. Warm meats and variations of potatoes, there were even sweets. Creamed ice and fruit-tarts. They ate gratefully, Pondo finishing enough to feed Valiun thrice over. This was not all Lord Dunnacan had prepared though, and into the room came a crowd of Pillow Maidens. They were beautiful, Valiun had already had to unbuckle his breeches but now they practically had to come off! His cock sprung to attention once again at the site of these women. The first he caught sight of was a 14 year old redheaded peasant girl, a great conflagration of hair falling untamed everywhere. Her eyes were like sparks among the wildfire. _She was 18rts (470lbs)._ Her breasts were sweetly round, her apple figure distributing fat to her hips and arse. Her stomach was smaller, revealing her hairless pussy beneath. Her legs were thick and glistened with juice. Every inch of her jiggled merrily with her sweet bouncing.

_“We got word of your arrival a month ago, it was plenty of time to hire you a harem, my Lord.”_

Valiun was spoilt for choice. His second interest was a diminutive jungle woman. Her darker, dusk skin was smooth in a different way to his pinker choices. Her lips were poutier, her hair black and thick and hanging like wiry vines to her hippopotamus hips. Her buttocks were by far the main repository of her blubber, sticking out equally as far as her gut, glistening in sweat. She was little more than an ape but knew how to give her master his desires, she knew how to be a good girl and would be rewarded at the end of her day. She was 12 of years and _22qrts (560lbs)._

So it was, Valiun did not chose a girl to enjoy. He slept with every one of them. He spent perhaps the most time with the _40qrts_ _(1000lbs)_ woman procured later in the evening. Her skin was most accommodating, with many indolent folds for Valiun to dab into. Her breasts leaked exquisite warm milk which Valiun lapped at despite being stuffed. There were thinner girls too and though Valiun would occasionally have them clean his cock with their tongues, they were not used much. Most skinny Pillow Maidens were apprentices, trying to raise their weight to earn more money. These girls were most certainly not getting paid.

_“This is not all, cousin, we have sent for a girl from the Mistress Qwendolyn’s famed pillow-house. Say hello to Primula!”_

Pondo had been ignoring the sexual adventures to this point. There was still plenty of food upon the table, but the mention of that name made him look up. Valiun clapped as the sexy Hoblin woman danced in. As all Hoblins, Primula was 1 yard high and looked like a child. She had large, innocent eyes (full of light actually meant to help her see underwater) and pouty, bimbo lips. Her golden-blonde hair rivalled an Ivæli girl’s. _Unlike_ all Hoblins, Primula was _16qrts (400lbs)_ and _crammed_ into a metal gold bikini with metal high heels, her butt was the size of a cask at each cheek and her belly hung like a weeping willow. Valiun was most excited as 2 of his bannermen helped _heave_ the obese Hoblin (known colloquially as HOGlins)onto his lap.

_“King Daddy?”_ she gurgled, finger to her lip in mock confusion, _“You sooooo big and stwong and--”_

_“Primula??”_

It was Pondo’s voice. Valiun could see she recognised his ward and was uncertain what to do. She continued gyrating her crotch against Valiun’s.

_“What happened to you? You’re ENORMOUS!”_

She shooed him away, focused on her work. Valiun was getting annoyed too.

_“I mean, I proposed to you and you disappeared and… we thought an Orca had got you or…”_

He could summon no more words, only tears, and before anyone could respond Pondo ran out of the room.

~~~ 

The sea air was a comfort at least. On Wormfall you were always near the coast, the island was so narrow. There were a number of tall palm trees and Pondo scurried up one to drink the condensed water of the leaves. He was furious at Valiun, first the Prince had dragged him on this suicide quest and now he was _fucking_ the love of his life! He knew Valiun considered him a friend but Humans just did things too differently to Hoblins. Pondo almost fancied trying his luck by heading back to Storms’ Deep, but knew he wouldn’t make it even if abandonment didn’t carry the death penalty.

_“Do not bring this to the Prince’s attention--”_ a voice below whispered. Pondo’s ears were perfect, suited to hearing the heartbeats of snakcrabs buried in riverbeds. It was a male voice, one he’d already heard tonight. His diction was perfect, he was a royal. The man with him was unmistakably Lord Dunnacan Draig.

_“We do not know how Queen Kalysta will react, House Storm may not love the_ _Ivæli but they’re loyal. Loyalty has put gold in their pockets and everything else in their bellies. I will probe His Lordship, he is currently dizzy on liquor.”_

The men nodded to each other and left. Pondo shimmied down the trunk, pondering on what he’d heard. He walked to the beach, avoiding a territorial sealion that barked at him. He thought about the deep dark sea and the horrors he’d heard lurking there. Fortunately, it was known his corner of the world _the Drowned South_ was home to the most sea monsters, therefore moving away from it only made him safer.

_“I can hardly breathe in there!”_ Valiun’s voice joined him. _“It’s sweatier than a leisure-cave.”_ He sat down on the beach next to his small friend, shirtless with half a bottle of rhum in his hand. Pondo considered telling him what he’d heard Lord Dunnacan saying, but he wasn’t sure what it meant. Perhaps it was not unusual among Humans to conspire so.

Valiun swigged another slosh of rhum. _“The ship’s leaving by mid-tide tomorrow. don’t let me sleep in, friend.”_ He collapsed back onto the sand. 

~~~

The seas were calm for the time of year and their voyage took only 17 days. Their provisions had held out well and bargaining with local Scyllan’s and pirates were hitchless. Primula had left Wormfall before dawn and Pondo had not seen her. Before long the offending night had been forgotten. The air grew heavier every day, the water warmer and bluer and the sky clearer. Pondo had never seen so much blue before. The captain pointed out strange, exotic fish. Strange jelly-creatures that floated like rafts on the surface. Seabirds landed happily on its body, scavenging for plant matter before the creature _SNAPPED_ shut like a trap, crushing the helplessly _squawking_ and _struggling_ bird. Two combs of long _thin_ needle teeth meshed as it deliberately sank, drowning its meal. Small rock islets jutted out of the water which the Captain explained were young volcanoes. Black crabs scuttled about on them, nibbling carelessly on each other.

At noon of the final day the Slogg continent came into view. The first they saw was a mighty volcano gently painting the sky with heavy plumes of smoke. A lush jungle stretched for miles along the coastline. As they got closer Valiun and Pondo saw wooden huts over the beach, boats and nets, a fishing village.

They disembarked and the Captain spoke to the tan-skinned Humans populating the village. They told them that to find Sloggs they would have to follow the sun as it set through the jungle. Slogg guards would meet them on the edge of their territory. They also recommended against it.

Valiun and Pondo were on their own at this point. They made their way through the jungle avoiding squeezer-snakes and strange black cats with yellow eyes and giant teeth. Their straight line took them perpendicular across a rushing river, the only bridge a felled tree. Pondo swore the whole way as hippopotamus crowded in the waters below waiting for him to fall.

_“I do not see much gold”_ Pondo fooled. Part of the Slogg House’s power came from the fact their vast cities were the _only_ place in the Spoken World gold was found. Half of all precious gems traded across Queendoms also came out of Yigg.

_“Nor many Mara-Lilies”_ Valiun noted more soberly. Though Sloggs had their own ways of invoking Mara, their harvest of the gifted flower was not inconsiderable. All of these resources gave the Slogg Houses influence comparable to the Ivæli. 

Finally they came to a line in the jungle that was notably sectioned. Someone had cut back the thicket with fine precision, a jetty lead to a small boat. This place had been created for Humans.

_“Was this built by Sloggs?”_ Pondo queried.

_“Most likely, Humans find these jungles as inhospitable as you do. Keep an eye out, if you see a Slogg be sure to thank him.”_

_“I will not know if I’m seeing one,”_ Pondo answered, _“What do they look like?”_

Valiun smiled as something _giant_ shimmered through the water.

_“See for yourself, friend.”_

Up ahead of them, clumsy waddling swamp birds scattered startled as two shapes glided _silently_ through the water towards Valiun and Pondo, moving like tadpoles. With great splashes the monstrous Slogg escorts revealed themselves.

From the waist up they were as Humans or Ivæli, bodies proportioned with 2 arms and a head as normal. Below they turned into _slimy_ rubbery slugs, their flesh tanned and dripping mucus. Their trunks continued down under the water, possibly for some way. Valiun knew they were legless creatures, but nimble and able to twist into any shape they chose. Though they looked proportionate next to each other they were actually far larger than Valiun, with heads the size of large boulders. Pondo could most definitely fit into each of their large, toad mouths. Their bodies were as wide as deep forest tree trunks. They stood 15-feet tall and 60-hands around as they rose out of the swamp on their mighty trunks, muscles flexing within. Their eyes were amphibian, pure black, searching. Their noses were flat. One lashed a great blanket-sized tongue across his thick lips, poisonous spittle glistening. Their dimpled heads were bald as was typical for Slogg males. Their skin was closer to a mamal, like some elephant or walrus, a strong but smooth hide. They were certainly not men, and as Valiun viewed them with disgust Pondo shrivelled in fear. 

_“You are the Storm Prince?”_ the larger Slogg spoke. His voice was deep as if a hippopotamus could speak. Pondo felt it in his bones. It was rich and authoritative.

“ _I am. I come to pay my respects to your Mother. I have brought her a gift.”_

Pondo had forgotten about the gift. A nasty voice in his head suggested _he_ was supposed to have brought the gift and simply forgot. The smaller Slogg smelled the Hoblin’s anxieties and looked at him as if he’d soiled himself. 

_“In the boat.”_

The large Slogg swam ahead as the smaller (though still large) Slogg pushed the boat. The jungle river took them under closely hanging branches home to all kinds of creatures. Mostly blugs but occasionally large beakless birds and sloth bears and dancing grey ape men. Several times the large Slogg was faced with a giant eel and slew the beast. Each was collected to be taken home and before long the boat was full with stinking giant eels. They stopped at a fork to take wisdom from a school of piranha and carried on until 2 hours later they’d arrived.

Their river connected to a vast quagmire connected to various other rivers, through the steam and plant life they could see Sloggs swimming in with prey from all directions. The swamp was at the base of a great volcano, the one they’d seen from the shore line. You could hear it boiling and bubbling and soft grey ash tumbled sleepily from the sky. It was only days out from its last angry eruption. Along the shore were large mounds of earth pushed up from beneath like a molehill. Slogg workers streamed in and out of these molehills, collecting food from the surrounding jungle. It seemed every citizen was dedicated to feeding their Queen, which reminded Valiun of something he’d read about ants. Giant pyramids of loomed on the banks. As they went on they saw smaller Sloggs. It was explained that Slogg children, all male, are forced to work at their assigned jobs from the larval stage. There is very little mercy for a male Slogg. The youngest were about 5-feet long. Pondo called out a warning as an alligator lunged from the water, _SNAPPING_ down at one Sloggling’s tail. The child, undisturbed by this, simply twisted the thing’s neck and effortlessly dragged its corpse off into one of the mud igloos.

_“They are collecting food,”_ said the smaller Slogg escort, _“they are of the Glunge caste and spend their lives hunting and foraging for Mother but will never lay eyes on her beauty. Lo, we approach her palace.”_

In the centre of the swamp was a vast _twisting_ mountain, spiraling up in a corkscrew fashion and silhouetted against the sun. The _Slogg Queen’s Hive_. It was as vast as Caer Glaw but much taller. Hundreds of honeycomb holes on the outer walls allowed scurrying Slogg workers to slither in and out, holding vertically to the walls with little effort. It stank, but Valiun and Pondo made every effort to show courtesy.

_“This has been the seat of power for Hive Glunge since the first Queen. Our religion teaches us that before leaving Altum the Sow Mother took one final, giant dump. That shit became the palace still standing here.”_

_‘Blasphemy!’_ Valiun kept to himself, _‘The ridiculous nonsense others speak of the Sow Mother. The very fact they dare speak Her name. No wonder Sloggs are cursed to this filthy, SAVAGE lifestyle.’_

They disembarked the boat and trekked over the stone path that had been erected across the sinking, _bubbling_ mud field. Apparently the main entrance had been made for them also.

_“We will carry you from here”_ the older Slogg informed.

_“Sorry? No… yeah, no. That’s ok we’ll walAAAHH!”_ the Slogg ignored the Prince, throwing him over its great shoulder.

_“Hold on, monkey thing!”_ the smaller one said to Pondo, tucking the Hoblin carelessly under his stinking armpit.

With the speed of racehorses the Sloggs _plunged_ into the carved out entrance way. All the passages and paths of the Slogg hive were vertical, and the two heroes felt as if they were falling.

 _‘If it weren’t so dark in here I could probably see the smell of shit’_ Valiun thought.

Pondo was partially responsible. Finally there was light and they emerged in the royal chamber deep underground. The cave around them was as large as a lake, walls glittering with gold. They were only on the top level, a perilous web of stone walkways twisted and tangled above the Queen’s nest below. They were carried along the interlinking stone limbs to a presentation platform.

The great Slogg Queen was beneath them like a devouring vortex in her pit.

She was utterly enormous, her fatness having caused every inch of her to bloat like an Elven dirigible. She was coiled in her Royal blubberiness, helplessly comfortable like a babe. She was leant up ever so slightly to see her guests but barely bothered to lift her sleep eyelids. Her eyes were like bottomless pools of still water, as endless as the night sky, so deep and dark. Her mouth was as wide as a grey whales, opening and closing with great wafts of vile breath as she devoured everything her tiny Slogg children fed her. Her Her hair was a forest of pure black vines, stretching out across her shoulders like great cables, knotted and tangled beyond all hope. Apparently the female skin was much lighter, and with each great chomp her pink hill chins bounced as if there was an earthquake. From this distance her slit nose seemed _puggish_ , though each nostril would be wide enough to accommodate Valiun’s Mother. The Slogg Queen’s tongue emerged like a sudden tide, sliding slowly across her hillock lips. Displaced drool and slime formed a treacherous flood down her face and forefront. Her breasts were soft pink avalanches, proportioned the same as a human woman’s and jiggling naked. Though her snow-peak nipples were perky there was no milk. Instead those breasts leaked a mucculant honey meant to feed her slave sons, but which they gathered and brought to her canyon maw. Her stomach stretched out wider than meadows and great tidal banks of fat pressed against the edges of her throne cave. Below her huge stomach turned not into the typical Slogg trunk but instead an ovipositor. This vast organ like a termite matriarch was enormous compared to even the rest of Her Obese Highness, slimy and shifting with her young crawling around inside. It was 4/5ths of her entire length and rose higher than even her mountain breasts. It tapered into a vaginal end like the lips of an elephant trunk conveniently in front of her. It rested in a large birthing pool, squirting out thick clouds of sticky fluid, delivering snake-sized newborn Sloggs. Once born they would writhe in the primordial fluids for a few moments before older Sloggs picked them out and took them to train as workers or soldiers. Every 10 seconds she would blast a spray of babies. Occasionally a team of her sons would take hold of their Mother’s ovipositor and trail it back towards her mouth. She’d clamp down and for a couple of minutes suckle her own on her tail, guzzling back the quickened stream of offspring and returning them back to her stomach. Her loyal sons would slither across her great body in their thousands, delivering food, massaging her. Often they would clear the area as Mother opened her mouth as wide as it went and tunnels about halfway down to the nest would _burst_ with powerful streams of food guzzling straight into her. Then it would end and they’d return to her. A line of her longest, most muscular sons took turns wriggling about in the divide between her stomach and ovipositor as she moaned _“Mmmmm yes worms, fertilise Mummy…”_

Suddenly a morose _fanfare_ was played by several Sloggs blowing through hollowed giant-snail shells. The large escort finally slithered forward, announcing his mighty Mother.

_“Presenting, the all-glorious Queen Lova of Hive Globb, daughter of Vaina, daughter of Gila, daughter of Viless, Mother of all sloggkind, ruler of all swamplands and fattest of her ancestors.”_

From below there was a din as hundreds of panicking cows were herded mercilessly into her chasm of a mouth. Queen Lova grunted some _booming_ half-burp-half-command her son’s understood perfectly. With their great strength they moved two giant stones near her head. The temperature rises, stinging Valiun and Pondo as molten lava _pours_ from the revealed cracks the stones had been blocking. The glowing orange lava spills down across Lova’s shoulders and over her great body doing her no harm. Nursery Sloggs gathered up as many newborns as they could carry in their mouths and slithered to safety, leaving the unfortunate to burn in their birthing pool. Lova smiled like a moon, apparently enjoying the equivalent of a warm bath, _purring_ with mirth.

Pondo was motioned forward. His duties as a ward included going before his Prince and speaking at diplomatic events. Partly this was so if the opposing noble did not like your proposals you could blame the ward for misspeaking.

_“Oh mighty Queen Lova, we representing Queen Kalysta 3 rd of her name of House Storm have come to pledge our fealty, for you are glorious and more beautiful than any other Queen. My liege Prince Valiun has brought you a special gift. He will present it humbly now.”_

Pondo stepped aside, noticing the young Prince held no gift.

_“Your Highness, I present my tribute, the Hoblin, Pondo Boggle, to devour at you leisure.”_

Pondo was pushed forwards by a Slogg guard.

_“What?!? You dick! After everything I’ve done for you??”_

At that point the Hoblin looked down and started to go dizzy. The height was enough, but waiting for him below was a carnivorous chasm surrounded by lava. Queen Lova’s mouth was opening like the drifting of continents and floods of thick drool poured out, hissing as it hit the bubbling rock around her. He was being edged over, only his ankles keeping balance as he swore and fought to stay stood.

_“Remember to curl up when they throw you into her”_ Valiun advised, _“Else she might bite an arm off on the way down.”_

Pondo felt a push. His arms flapped as if they were trying to fly but more and more the wind hit him as he plummeted towards Queen Lova’s gaping mouth. For just one split second he saw lines of sharp shark teeth, missing them and disappearing into the darkness of her gullet.

The Queen _BURPED_ like thunder.

_“Mother is pleased with your offering”_ the smaller Slogg informed Valiun.

_“Oh, good!”_ He walked up to the edge and looked down at the nightmarish Queen Lova, _“Excuse me, Your Majesty, have you lost weight?”_

There was a gasp and within 3 seconds Valiun was smiling as he too plummeted towards her mouth.

~~~

Pondo couldn’t breathe, there was no light, the throat muscles _constricted_ around him, forcing him with unimagined strength downwards into the gut. He could not fight the force, no matter how much he tried to grasp the slimy sides he was pushed further and further down, drowning and tumbling. Every part of this cramped, sightless world felt like wet leather. Pondo suddenly felt more sympathetic for every grape he’d ever eaten.

He came upon air as with cannon-like force he was shot into a wider, open chamber. He fell for a moment before landing face down in another pool of liquid. This time it was shallow, whatever this soup was it stung him. It was like the feel of rubbing alcohol on the skin, but Pondo thought it was getting worse. His gasps and screams of misery echoed from the walls of this great chasm. He was in the stomach and he knew it, this burning liquid was digestive acid. He was going to be eaten alive here.

Suddenly there was a faint glow and Pondo’s eyes started to adjust. He saw the gut he now inhabited was the size of the Throne Room at Caer Glaw. The tube he’d exited spurted forth another victim. Prince Valiun landed heavily into the stomach acids.

_“Pondo!”_ he cheered, _“good, good, glad we made it to the same stomach. Sloggs have seven of them, you know.”_

The brilliant light was the Stygian Eye shining from Valiun’s bag. this was indeed the darkest cave and they were indeed their most lost. Pondo wished he couldn’t see the horrors around him. Bodies had been absorbed into the lining, some partially, others mostly, all still alive. There were various local tribal humans, some of the grey ape men they’d seen earlier, a number of cattle including many thrashing hippos and even 2 Sloggs slowly disintegrating. The creatures _shrieked_ and _screamed_ as they melted cell by cell, digested by this uncaring Queen.

_“We’re dead!”_ Pondo screamed, hitting at Valiun as hard as he could.

_“Relax, we’re not dead. This is still all part of the plan. I told you, the only way to Princess Elepha is through her mother.”_

_“Meaning?”_

_“We need to get into the Royal sewers._ Sloggs guard royal leavings with great jealousy.” The cavalier delivery with which he explained this worried Pondo, who was already worried.

_“A warning might work next time.”_

“I didn’t tell you I was going to feed you to Queen Lova because I knew you wouldn’t go with it. I promise not to spring anything terrifying on you unexpectedly again.”

_“Thank you--”_

_“Until the acid.”_

_“Acid?”_

The rubbery ground beneath their feet _quaked_ violently as the whole room shook. Lova’s dissolving victims started to _howl_ again. The level of digestive juices started to rise around their knees.

_“Go under the acid!”_

_“That is the stupidest thing you’ve ever asked me to do!”_

_“We need to go, now! Go under the acid and it will administer all that green goo you’re wearing!_

The bile was already up to Pondo’s stomach and starting to burn more deliberately. Valiun dunked Pondo’s little head under the surface and quickly the acid started to drain away.

_“What was that?”_ Pondo spluttered angrily, wiping his eyes.

_“Sloggs live prey is all swallowed into their tertiary stomach, to be digested as slowly as possible. She only shits from this stomach once every five months, hence the goo.”_

_“Which is?”_

Next there was a sudden _blast_ of foul wind that pulled the Hoblin off his feet, like a river it dragged him away. Valiun, too heavy to be dragged away, returned the Stygian eye to his bag and answered Pondo none the less.

_“Laxatives.”_

He dived, following Pondo towards their exit.

Pondo was sucked down a flesh valve and through a violently vibrating tunnel of slurry.

Finally with a great _fart_ he rocketed from Queen Lova’s anus like nothing. A few moments later he was joined by Valiun, several skeletons, and a shower of turds. This time it was not dark, the royal sewers were lined with lamps. Pondo and Valiun were top of the latest great pile, a mountain of dumps among thousands. For as far as they could see the catacombs of crap continued endlessly into darkness, whole rivers of liquid shit carrying it away to be processed. A billion flies swarmed about them but did not like the fire so after climbing down the brown hill Valiun and Pondo took up torches. There were wide stone pathways meant for Sloggs (they could not move through Mother’s leavings, it was considered sacrosanct) and the adventurers moved carefully.

_“Our scent is guarded but there may still be Sloggs patrolling these holy hollows. Keep a weather eye out.”_

They followed the path. Most fortunately the walls held glyphs Valiun could vaguely translate, directing worker Sloggs to the Princesses’ chambers. They walked for an hour before finally reaching a smaller (though still vastly wide) channel apparently dedicated to the Princess’ leavings.

_“I think we’re getting close,”_ Pondo exclaimed, emboldened by the impossibility of getting this far, _“I think I hear her breathing in the chamber above.”_

Valiun listened most intently over the buzzing of endless flies. He could hear breathing but could not see the entrance to her chambers.

_“I’m surprised I can hear her from here,”_ Valiun mused, _“I thought as Human I would not be capable.”_

_“YOU ARE NOT!”_ came a deep, scorning voice. Valiun and Pondo _SCREAMED_ , the voice belonged to an _enormous_ Slogg guard hanging from the dark ceiling. He dropped down in front of them, his stumpy arms holding a Mara powered spear that crackled with black light.

_“YOU DARE INTRUDE ON THE CHAMBERS OF PRINCESS ELEPHA! MOTHER WILL DEVOUR YOU FOR THIS!”_

The irony was not lost on them but running was more important. Of course, the second they turned to escape they slipped on the slimy sewer surface and tripped. The Slogg _LAUGHED_ a deep booming bellow at their embarrassment as he rose on his trunk and towered over them.

_“TO BRING HER SUCH DELICIOUS MEALS, QUEEN MUMMY MUST SURELY MAKE ME A FERTILITY SLAVE NYUHHH--”_

They didn’t understand at first. A giant rolling ball of compact shit had burst out of the darkness and onto the Slogg guard, embedding him in the sickly sticky sphere. He wriggled trying to escape. Valiun and Pondo did not wait, they got up and ran ( _slowly_ ) for freedom. Something long and pink wrapped around Pondo’s legs and too late they realised it was the nimble tongue of the Slogg guard, not only binding the Hoblin but pulling himself free. The Slogg laughed around his tongue as Valiun reached back for Ictus.

_SPLAT!!!_

Something even bigger had landed on the Slogg guard, now limp and weak. It’s mandibles pierced the guard’s thick body, digging in as the Slogg stabbed his spear at the creature. It was a tumble-blugg, a breed of beetle 10-feet tall that thrive around obese Queens. They like to collect the feces, rolling it into a ball and stashing it as food supply in their burrows. This one’s metallic coat was rainbow-sheened as it buzzed heavily, fighting the Slogg. It thought he was trying to steal its dung ball and was ferocious in defending it.

Reaching the end of the tunnel they thought they’d escaped when 2 more tumble-bluggs blocked their exit. These 2 were golden coloured and were without dung, hissing territorially at the heroic adventurers. In a swift motion Valiun drew Ictus, the Urk-steel blade slicing _cleanly_ through one of the creature’s legs. the metal _crackled_ weakly with some sparks, casting a dim light on the surrounding tunnel as Valiun backed off from the beasts. It was not unnoticed they were heading back to the original tumbler which may very well be finished with its Slogg foe by now. Pondo was also running by his side, clearly there was no danger to be seen.

 _‘Why do you not BURN with lightning as you did for my father?’_ He worried, was that just the stuff of stories? As they said in Gravetown, _“No Mara matches the mummery”_ and he was starting to think they were right. The second tumbler struck out, it’s sharp front claw digging painfully into Valiun’s ankle. He fell and the tumbler stood over him, inspecting the Human. Pondo had already run ahead but soon realised his friend was not with him. Looking back he saw the scene, Valiun brought to the ground as now both tumblers were hissing ferociously in warning at him, ready to charge horn-first any moment. Pondo did not think, but he remembered what Valiun had done to him. He remembered being dropped into a carnivorous Slogg Queen. He remembered 30 days at sea. He remembered Primula grinding against him. Everything Valiun has done to him, every disregard, every terrible deed, every joke.

None of it mattered. He ran towards his friend.

Pondo had no idea how to fight a tumble-blugg, but started by picking up Ictus. The sword was half his length but felt light as a pen in his hand. It began to glow _brilliantly_ like a brand new sun. The power of lightning _fizzed_ through it, spokes occasionally dancing from metal to discharge around itself. Pondo felt unstoppable, Valiun watching as the tiny Hoblin first waved Ictus at a tumbler, slicing its horn clean-free. The second he plunged into the breast of the injured tumbler which _trumpeted_ in pain before collapsing dead. Valiun thought himself delusional.

_‘What did I just see? A Hoblin fight off two tumblers?’_

But it was true. Humbly, Pondo helped his friend to his feet. They were provisioned with bandages that could be applied once they found fresh water. Valiun took Ictus from Pondo and it’s light immediately faded.

 _‘Be brave and Ictus will make you braver’_ he recalled, _‘so, this is a sword that admires courage.’_

He returned it to the sheathe. Truth be told he was embarrassed by the experience, but asked himself if he should feel so.

_“I hear running water back down the tunnel”_ Pondo announced, dwelling not on his victory, _“we can clean you up and get back to the mission.”_

Before Valiun could answer the very _first_ tumble-blugg lunged out of the darkness before them. Its _pecking_ mandibles snapped angrily towards the Hoblin’s throat.

_SLUUUUKKK_

Valiun opened his eyes. The blugg fell down dead and Pondo was unharmed. Valiun would not accept it, his friend had killed 3 of the beasts?? Then they saw, sticking from the creature’s abdomen was a black Mara-spear. It was the Slogg guard, with his last ounce of strength he’d hurled the spear, slaying the creature. They were relieved and continued on over the leaking corpse and towards the sound of water.

Fifteen minutes later they found themselves in a part of the sewer more focused on clean water. Valiun figured it was the royal drinking supply form outside, and if they ever found the Princess it might make a suitable escape route. A waterfall gushed down the wall from a hole in the ceiling above, also draining down into the room below, presumably hitting a number of the hive’s levels. They sat there for a minute and Pondo helped Valiun clean his wound. Valiun was thinking the whole time.

_“Pondo”_ he started, unsure of his destination, _“when I was a child my mother had a ward from House Soffle. One day the boy dropped a platter of honey-cakes he was delivering to her. He was hanging skinless from the city limits by sundown.”_

Pondo grimaced, he did not like hearing the fates of other wards.

_“_ _Basically, we were always told wards are there to trade dignity for prosperity. To be a dog to kick. That’s why--”_ he swallowed, embarrassed, _“I was not told that a ward could also be a… friend.”_

Neither of them said anything. Pondo just nodded. There had rarely been a ward treated with respect by his master and never one a Hoblin. Valiun continued.

_“I just wanted to say, I know you’re not a pet or a scapegoat. I’m sorry about the whole feeding you to a Slogg Queen and dragging you across the ocean and… I’m sorry about Primula.”_

That was all he had to say, Pondo felt the anger in his heart melt away. He forgave his friend.

The rushing of the waterfall was enough to hide their voices, but not to hide others from Pondo. There was someone speaking in the room above.

_“My Lord!”_ Pondo announced excited, _“Up there I hear a Slogg, a female one!”_

Valiun thanked his friend and instructed him to wait while he checked. He stood, his ankle feeling much better under the moley-wrap. He had been scared, this he could admit to himself now. He had not expected to come so close to his intended target. Behind the waterfall they found a number of grooves and carved steps in the rock, no doubt born out by centuries of Sloggs climbing these walls. Valiun found he too was able to climb by taking it slowly, there was almost enough space for him to avoid the rush of water but it blasted him nonetheless. In the 10 minute climb he almost found himself washed completely clean, the water purer than any he’d seen passing through the jungle.

He emerged in the chambers above, _much_ fancier than what he’d left. There was gold glittering in the walls. The floor was lined with exquisite marble and a hot bath about 20 feet deep waited, scattered with petals and perfumes. Lively little frogs swam about in the water. The room was steamy with a _vast_ mirror lining one of the walls. He pulled himself through, no doubt in his mind this was the Princess’ chambers. Around the bath were great jugs of different creams and moisturisers and other lotions. Valiun snuck carefully out of the washing area. the next room was no doubt her shitting quarters, there was a vast hole in the floor but it did not seem to have been used in some time. He carried on, there was a chamber full of clothing, not that he had seen any male Slogg wear clothing. The garments were bizzare, tailored to a mollusc body yet still glamorous. There were soft satins and fine furs, pinks and purples and reds, though there were no shoes obviously there was a great collection of jewelry. Crowns that would fit a pumpkin and necklaces like liana of precious gold with priceless gems in every one. This room obviously was used as a number of slime trails lead in and out. Valiun decided to follow them, passing several pantries of live caged animals. Finally he came out into the Slogg Princess’ boudoir. It was the biggest room so far, decorated not only with tapestries of Slogg glory but great oil portraits of her beauty. There were gifts strewn messily about as if she did not care much for them and lines of food, worms and grubs, squealing crispy piglets roasted alive, fish floundering helplessly in the air. Her boudoir was open to a great fighting pit below in which a Slogg gladiator fought several grey ape men for her amusement.

Valiun looked upon her. Princess Elepha was obese beyond belief, even for a Slogg. Her vast slug stomach spread like a tongue before her, _oozing_ helplessly as blubber built up around her squat body. Her eyes were far more beautiful than Valiun had expected, blinking slowly like an amphibian, they were a regal green so deep it almost looked black, her eyelids fluttering with sharp lashes. Her nose was flattened like a piglet’s snout and her giant toad mouth gaped open limply to accept all food offerings. Her thick, dark hair was much better managed than her Mother’s. It was sleek and straight and decorated with gems and starfish, her blubbery long tail completing the beached mermaid look. Her mouth was wide like a toad-queen, lined with plump lips and a moist, dinosaur tongue that slipped softly across her hungry maw. Her breasts were considerable, formed entirely out of fat as Slogg females wouldn’t grow true honey-breasts until metamorphosing to Hive Mothers. Her tail wound 30 feet to her side as she laid in luxury, only curling slightly at the end and tapping merrily with satisfaction. She was dressed in a pink chiffon gown with fuzzy hemline that fit all across her fat body, including her stumpy little arms, and trailing regally down to her tail. She also had a pink feather boa around her considerably thick neck. She was glistening with slime, precious gems pressed into the thick secretion to symbolise her status, the heavier the gem her slime could hold the more desirable a mate she was. Rubies the size of Valiun’s head sat effortless and unmoving in her slimy membrane.

She laid resplendent in her sleeping pool, a bath of mud and filth that was apparently pleasurable to Sloggs’ thick skin. With eagle accuract she darted forward, throwing her face into the mud. As she pulled away Valiun saw some kind of squealing lizard wriggling to escape, only to be chomped mindlessly in half by the Princess. She lifted her tail ever so slightly and a vast _wave_ of shit burst from her anus, coating a nearby savage prisoner and melting his skin. Smaller Slogg children, her brothers, slithered about ignoring Valiun to fetch her food. They climbed over her to feed her, at least 1 every minute getting too close only to be sucked in by their obese sister. Two larger feeding brothers brought forward a 20-foot python, pulling it taut between them. They placed its midsection between her hungry lips and with the most powerful _slurp_ the serpent was pulled inside, both ends disappearing down her gullet.

She looked to Valiun, stood there. He drew Ictus, feeling no fear, the blade _shone_ with courageous lightning. Elepha was not worried, she had smelled him coming from a mile away, she could detect every hormone raging inside his body. She knew exactly what he was feeling and she felt it too.

_‘Oh dear,’_ Valiun thought, returning Ictus to his scabbard, _‘I hope this does not complicate things.’_

But he had, he was too late. Elepha smiled a great crescent of a smile as her tongue lolled sexually, _gliding_ out of her mudpit to meet him. Valiun’s cock grew in his pants.

He’d come all this way to kill her.

_‘Why did I have to fall in love?’_


End file.
